A Tearful Goodbye

Ok so if you follow me on my YouTube channel, you might of seen my update video. Well anyway, February was the worst month of my life.

My dog Barney (7 years old) got sick and he was diagnosed with Pancreatitis. He was given antibiotics and he seemed to be getting better. However on Friday three days after he first went to the vets, he got sicker so we decided to take him back to the vets.. He snuggled up to me in the car. It was like he was scared. At the vets they said they were going to keep him overnight or for a few days until he was better. The vets didnt seem to think he was that sick.

On the Saturday we went to see him in the vets he looked very scared and sick. His eyes were very red, like he had been crying all night. It was very horrible seeing him like this. I left the vets in tears.
On the sunday we rang the vets and they told us Barney had gotten weak through the night, however the vets still didnt feel it was life threating . At 7 oclock that night we rang the vets for an update. He told us that Barney had died at 6 o'clock.

When I heard those words, I couldn't accept it, To this day I can still remember my Dad walking into the room telling us. It was horrible. It was like I was dreaming. I could not believe what he was saying to us. Barney was too young to die. I have never experienced death before and I didn't know what I was feeling.

I felt  my whole world fell apart. I felt like someone had ripped my heart straight out of my chest. I was devasted. I sleep with his little dog blanket and have made a memory box. I know none of that will bring him back. But its comforting. For weeks after his death I felt I didn't know where he was, I felt he was lost. Its a very confusing feeling. If anyone has experienced death before you will know what I mean when I say that.

A month on I still cant accept he has gone. My brain has got used to him not being here, But some mornings I wake up thinking he is still alive. Then it hits me all over again. Some People may say its just a dog, but to me, it was like losing a best friend. I just wish I could of been there when he died. I wish I kissed him goodbye, Thats what hurts the most the fact he was alone. I know my life will never be the same again.

 I setup a website to let people know about pancreatitis in dogs. If you want to read the full story click the link below.
I know Barney has crossed over Rainbow Bridge. A YouTube Subscriber Told me about this website that helps with pet grief. It mentions when dogs and pets die they cross Rainbows Bridge. I'll link the Website here:  http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

Here is The Rainbow Bridge Poem it's very comforting.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...

In Loving Memory Of Barney, The Worlds Greatest Dog. Love You More And More Everyday. xxxx

My Website I've set up With Barney's full story and info on Pancreatitis:  http://pancreatitisindogs.weebly.com/index.html

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